In Just-Like-A-Kinder-Surprise news:

An amateur lumberjack got the shock of his life after the tree he just cut down came with a surprise inside. A dark long sausage-like thing was excreted from the core of the tree trunk. There seems to be some dispute about what it was. The lumberjack believes it to be a snake however expert internet randoms have suggested that it’s likely a borer worm that grew up inside the tree.

But what really happened is that the gardener fertilized the tree with manure, and the tree happily ate it all up until it was full. Judging by the impressive size of the poop, the tree must’ve been holding that one in a long time.

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